What a pause, a laugh, and a little perspective can teach us about culture and control
"I appreciate your perspective."
When I was in my 20s, working in television production and telecommunications—two industries not exactly known for their surplus of women in leadership at the time —I got used to nodding along. A man would explain something I already knew (or, more often, had just said myself), and I’d cock my head, listen, say thanks, and move on with the conversation. It was the '90s. The playbook was to be pleasant, patient, and if not tolerant, then not obviously intolerant.
Today, for me, mansplaining is more an issue of being tone deaf. The patient, pleasant, and tolerant is pretty built in. Women are still frowned on for cutting people off—even if (or especially when) we’re in leadership roles.
So those old instincts don’t just disappear. But now, decades later, and running my own consulting firm, I’ve also learned how to push back—gracefully, I hope. I tend to stop it in the moment—either at a pause or with a laughing look and a comment like “I appreciate your perspective.” Later, in private, I might ask a more direct question: “Why did you feel the need to explain that?” That’s usually enough. People get it when you give them the opportunity to reflect.
It’s not about calling someone out to score points. It’s about reinforcing a culture of awareness, humility, and shared respect.
And that’s something that matters deeply in the contact center world too.
Every day, agents—especially women and frontline team members—navigate subtle power dynamics, unclear authority, and often unacknowledged expertise. They’re coached to stay pleasant and patient, even when what they really need is the space to assert their value.
As leaders, we can help shift that dynamic.
It starts by recognizing these moments for what they are: opportunities to model a better way to communicate. That might mean stepping in when someone talks over an agent on a call. Or rethinking how we train team leads to handle “corrections” in front of the team. Or even just encouraging someone to trust their instincts when they know they’re being talked down to.
It’s not about being combative. It’s about being clear. It’s about creating an environment where people don’t feel like they have to earn the right to speak with authority—because their experience already gives them that right.
And yes, sometimes it starts with something as small (and subversive) as:
"Thanks so much for explaining that."
